So in the adventure of posting snippets from my trip to North Carolina last week, I surpassed the "100" mark in blog entries. Specifically, this entry is #103. Wow! I have certainly learned a lot about myself, my friends, and my world by keeping "blog entry" in the back of my mind. Of course, I probably "should" have hit 100 months ago, but, like everyone else, I've hit dry spots along the way. One thing I can certainly be thankful for with this blog is the "blog family" that it is / I am a part of. For those of you outside this circle, the BF is a group of us that are all linked to each other through our blogs here in Atlanta. Some of my closest friends started out as hyperlinks from someone else's blog. In fact, I'm in the habit these days of almost dropping the "blog" from the "blog family" and simply referring to them as my "Atlanta" family. Funny how life turns like that.
Another life turn started a few weeks ago, took a sharp left on Sunday, and is currently quite muddled in its resolution.
I have been a member of my church for almost 8 years. I started out working with some friends on their Habitat project, and eventually decided that I felt comfortable and called to become a member of this particular congregation. Over the years, a great portion of my life has been shaped by events at this church. I became a Youth advisor, which led to being a chaperon on their annual trips, which led to my large-group cooking adventures. I served as an elder, committee chair, and committee member. I was part of the search committee for a new Youth Pastor. Several times, I considered myself to be part of the inner church leadership. I met many great people, found great friends, and found out just how small my world is.
During the reign of "The Evil Empire", I fell away from my church. The Ex-Girlfriend was terrified that my friendships with people at my church might take my focus away from her. And she had other issues...with my church, too. Anyway, for about 8 months I was absent in all form from anything related to my church. One of the most fulfilling events after the breakup was returning to the congregation. I quickly (I thought) jumped back into my old role, even taking on a new role as part of a planning team for an evening contemporary worship service.
Here's where the turns started. A few weeks ago, I began to realize that I no longer have a peer group at my church. The few folks that are close to my age are married with kids, and focused on their families. Everyone else that had been part of that group has long since moved away or found other congregations to be a part of. And the age gap between me and the Youth has finally reached a point where I don't have a connection with them (heck, I'm the same age as some of their fathers!). On top of it all, I can not think of a single person in the congregation with whom I have any sort of friendship or connection outside of the church. All of this led me to start thinking about my role at this church, and whether or not I should think about moving to another church.
We've had some turmoil in the church staff lately which has not helped my thoughts and opinions. Unfortunately, some of the turmoil became personal with some of the folks, and they felt it necessary to, instead of exiting quietly, drag the remaining staff and leadership through the mud on their way out. It hasn't made thing easy. Especially since our Senior Pastor has been on sabbatical since May and not due back until mid-August.
While in NC last week, I came to the point that I would let things ride until the Pastor returned in August, following which I would plan to sit down with him and lay out what I just did above, hoping he might offer me some guidance or insight.
And then Sunday came. About 2:00 in the afternoon, I received my copy of a mass e-mail to the congregation from the Pastor. At first, I thought it might be a letter of healing to address the recent turmoil and ensure that we were still moving forward. Nope. This e-mail was instead his letter of resignation, announcing his intent to step down two weeks after he returns from sabbatical in order to answer a call at another church outside the metro area.
Wham!
Sunday evening, I went to a "board game" party with some friends. The host of the party is actually the Minister of Education (and unofficial Associate Pastor) at another church. A church where a majority of my friends and acquaintances are members. He and I started talking - he wanted to tap my brain about my experiences with the contemporary service and how it might help them as they think about starting their own contemporary service. Hrrmmm. Maybe this is the "sign" from above? Maybe it truly is time to move to another congregation, and this new contemporary service might just be the perfect platform for me to switch to a new church - one that I already have connections with - and jump right into service and leadership. It certainly does offer another element to my thoughts and opinions.
Just to be sure, I've sent off notes to my current Senior Pastor and the Youth Director expressing my concerns. I also plan to visit this new church in the next few weeks. Hopefully, between the anticipated replies from my current church, and the reaction at this new church, I might be able to discern a direction for my faith.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
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6 comments:
Wow, church is the last place you'd think you'd find such personality-driven conflict. But maybe I shouldn't be surprised--churches do have the common problem of being filled with people. :)
Considering your dedication to your church this is certainly a milestone.(Cooking $1000 worth of groceries for 30 teenagers?Dedication.)Whether you move to a new congregation or stay with your current one, your role will inevitably be changing. You're being thoughtful about the process. I'm sure it will be for the better. If you feel like telling us, let us know how it goes.
I am far too biased to offer you any helpful advice on this, but know that you'll be supported on any decision you make. Any church that gets you will be incredibly lucky. You have an exceptional work ethic and you go above and beyond the call of duty on any project you take on. I'm constantly amazed and impressed by your dedication, perseverance, faithfulness and commitment. You'll do well wherever you land and the church that finally gets you will be blessed beyond belief.
Yuck! Politics are bad enough; the politics of religion just plain suck!
Stepping back, thinking it through, go with your gut... in the end, you'll be fine.
Keep us posted.
It's good to recognize that clery are human beings; not special deities. In my experience, conflict in a church's administration can become a dangerous distraction for my primary purpose of being a church member; having a place to worship God. I had to learn that the hard way after the church where I was baptized became very liberal under new leadership.
Remember also, man created the physical church and there can be destructive sin from any human being.
Good luck.
Hey Buddy. You know i am behind whatever you decide to do. We really enjoy you, but agree it is really hard to separate ourselves to hang out with you more.
That being said, I would be so stoked to see you bring you creative energy, dedication (and just pure genius) to a church where you could attain the social and personal fulfillment you need additionally.
You are the man!
NV
I thought I'd commented before because I've been thinking about this a lot. I think you should make the change. You have been giving and giving. I think you need a place that will nurtue you as much as you nurtue them. I'm sure it will a hard decision though.
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